Stomach Tied In Knots (Phan)
by SparklyDanosaur
Summary: Here is a songfic with multiple songs including Sleeping With Sirens and My Chemical Romance. I do not own any bands mentioned or Dan and Phil. Angsty fluff because fluffy angst would imply that there is more angst than fluff and that is not the case :3 Enjoy. Oh, and future smut is likely. Some swears used.
1. I'm Not Okay

He thinks I've been quoting My Chemical Romance. Boy, was it much more. I really am not okay, because I'm in love with Phil Lester, and he'll never know how much I really care for him. I hadn't slept in nearly a month, or eaten that much, either, mainly toast, tea, and malteasers. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to the one I loved, let alone make eye contact. I've tried making videos, I really did, but I couldn't come up with any ideas. The radio show was a mess, and I was sure the fans could see through the fake smiles and feel an awkward tension between me and Phil. Especially today. Phil and I had barely spoken all day, aside from the usual "good morning", and part of me wanted to hear his beautiful voice, and the other part thought it was better off this way. It was so awkward during the show, we tried our hardest to put on smiles, but when we left, Twitter was packed with questions like "Is everything okay, you guys?" And "What's wrong?!"s. We arrived back at our flat, and I was ready to walk straight to my room and get on the Internet or something, but right before I had touched the door handle, Phil stopped me.  
"Dan."  
I was about to ignore him, when he grabbed my arm, dragged me to the couch, and pinned me down by my arms. Honestly, under other circumstances, this would have been very sexy.  
"Promise me you won't run."  
I nodded as a response. He climbed off of me and sat next to me. "Now tell me, why you've been acting so weird and avoiding me? Is... is it something I said? Something I did? I'm really confused and I'm sick of not hanging out like we used to!" Phil broke down sobbing at the last part. My heart ached whenever I saw him sad, and my throat started to hurt from choking back my own tears. "I just haven't gotten much sleep, and it's bugging me is all. Please don't cry," I tried comforting him. " PLEASE DON'T LIE TO ME, ITS OBVIOUSLY MORE THAN FREAKING SLEEP ISSUES! What caused them?!" Phil yelled, a steady stream of tears now coming down both our faces. I could barely get anything out, and I didn't know another excuse other than "Oh yeah, by the way, I'm in love with you," which, of course, was not happening. "Phil... well... you see... there's this guy," I said in a soft tone, and Phil wiped his eyes and looked at me.  
"Yeah," his tone had softened a bit.  
"I met him a while back, and earlier this month, I... um..."  
"Y-you have a crush on him, don't you?"  
"Not really, kind of, yeah."  
"Oh." Phil bit his lip and looked away. "What's his name?"  
Crap. I needed to think fast. I must have given off a scared look on my face, because Phil changed the subject. "Oh, ok, you don't have to talk about him if you don't want to. Just know I'm, uh, here for you."  
I couldn't help it. I pulled him in for a hug and he hugged me, patting my back.  
"Don't be scared to tell me anything okay? Please?" My heart was racing, not just because of how close I was to confessing to Phil, but _how close I was to Phil_. I nodded, then rested my face in his neck where it fit perfectly. *Maybe I don't need to avoid him as much... he's too cute to avoid.* I thought, Phil pulling me closer. "Do you want pizza for dinner tonight?" He asked me. "Yeah, sure. But I don't want you to get up."  
"Well, I have to get my phone if we're going to order it."  
"Here, use my phone," I decided, reaching into my pocket, pulling out my phone, and handing it to him. He smiled and said "Thanks."

We had ordered the pizza, and while we waited we decided to watch some TV. I wasn't really watching TV, and Phil wasn't either, we were just staring off into space, Phil's arm awkwardly (though it didn't feel really awkward to us) slung around me and my head rested on his chest. I heard his heart beating and felt his chest rise and fall with every breath. It was so soothing and comfortable, to be closer to Phil again, even if not in the way I wanted. 'So comfortable...so tired. I could just fall a-' _knock knock_  
"I've got it!" Phil said jumping up. Was he looking for something to get away from me? I peered from behind the couch as Phil made the transaction and started to grab paper plates. I stared at him, admiring everything about him, the way he moved around the kitchen, the way he concentrated, the way he tried to sing the Doctor Who theme song in a series of "Bum Ba dum WOOSH doo wee do" s. I thought he was adorable. I loved him, and nothing would change that or the fact that he couldn't know that. I bit my tongue and internally scolded myself for thinking about it. Phil came over with two plates of pizza and some soda and gave one to me. "Thank you," I said, still trying to blink back tears. Phil noticed this, because he knows me like the back of his hand, but not the undying love thing, and asked me if I wanted to tell him anything. I just cleared my throat and said "No, I'm just tired. I'm going to bed after this." He smiled in return. "Long month, eh?" He poked me. I half forced a laugh, though part of it was real. "Tell me about it."

We soon both finished our food and said good night to eachother, and went to bed. For once in a month I had a mildly good nights sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil's POV

I woke up in the morning to the smell of burning toast and a few expletives from Dan. "What a nice thing to wake up to in the morning," I giggled, putting my glasses on and rolling out of bed, not bothering with a T-shirt.

I walked into the kitchen to find Dan _attempting_ to fix his morning toast and tea- honestly the only thing I've seen him eat. "Sure you don't want to have anything more real?" I asked Dan, leaning in the door frame. He jumped back, yelping. "God, Phil, don't scare me like that!" He spun around and noticeably blushed at my topless form. "Hi." I greeted. "I'm making you some pancakes!"  
"Can I help?" He smiled at me.  
"Of course!" My lips curled up at the sides. I padded over to the pantry to grab the utensils and Dan grabbed the ingredients.

Soon we took turns stirring the mixture, and I realized this was the most close I've been to Dan since last night, when we _kind of_ cuddled after he confessed his crush on this anonymous guy, and then ate pizza while watching Doctor Who. Yes, I'm admitting I am kind of jealous of this guy Dan won't tell me about, but I'm not sure you could say I have specific feelings for Dan. But there certainly is something else there, if it's something like a deeper _brotherly love_ or a deeper _love_. I'd figure out some other time.

By the time the pancakes were done, the kitchen was a mess, and so were we. We were on the floor laughing and throwing flour and random ingredients at each other. Until we ran out of flour.  
"Great. I'm going to the store when we finish eating." Dan giggled.

We ate and caught up from the month we missed. So I decided to bring up the guy. "So, are you willing to tell me about that guy you like yet?" I asked. Dan tensed up, but nodded slightly. "Well, he's really cute, gorgeous eyes," Dan was blushing and looking down. "And he says the cutest and childish things sometimes. And... oh nevermind." I could tell he could rave on and on about him. "You can keep going if you want," I assured him, hoping I wasn't pressuring him into anything. "Well, his lips look cute and soft... but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. I don't think he's playing for _that_ team." Dan's eyes watered as he sighed and took his last bite of pancake. I felt kind of bad for him, but I was happy he decided to share. He sounded like a pretty cool guy, Dan really seemed to like him. "Do you have some sort of man crush? Like... not 'I'd like him in my room' but like 'Yeah, he's pretty attractive' sort of thing," Dan asked me. The first person that popped into my head was Dan himself, but no. "You said it yourself, Zayn Malik," I giggled, poking Dan's shoulder. He carried both of our empty plates to the kitchen and laughed. "I'm gonna go shower and then head to get groceries. Do you want anything?" He asked me. I shook my head and got up from my seat, pushing the chair in. "Nope. I think I have a video idea, so I might work on that." I replied. "Cool, I haven't really had any ideas or anything, but I want the fans to know where I've been for a month." He paused, I didn't notice that I was staring at him, so I just smiled awkwardly and headed to my room and booted up my laptop.

While Dan was showering and trying to wash flour out of his hair, I browsed the Internet for a bit. After a while I got bored, so I pushed the laptop aside and decided to just think for a bit. My train of thought got cut off when Dan called from the other room, "Hey Phil, I'm headed out now!"  
"Okay, see you when you get back," I answered. I started thinking again, about random things, and soon my mind drifted to thoughts about Dan. I decided to sort out my feelings. I mean, I like him a lot, he's cute and all, really, but if I did like him, would he ever like me back? Because he likes this other guy, I can tell, I see it in his eyes. But that's when I knew it. Deep down, I wished to be able to breathe in his scent, and cuddle with him, and maybe, possibly kiss him. I loved him... I actually did...I just realized I've fallen for Dan, and wow. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sat there, stunned. I decided to forget it and listen to some music. I put it on shuffle, and soon drifted to sleep.


	3. You Make Me So Hot

A/N: Hey! Here's chapter 3! If you're reading this from Tumblr, just skip to the second paragraph of the author's note. If you're reading this on , read on, but skip paragraph 2 (because I'm lazy as f*ck). My Tumblr is epicjellypanda and it's the same for my Twitter. I hope you enjoy this chapter as it is leading up to a chapter more based off of Stomach Tied In Knots by Sleeping With Sirens :)

Hey Tumblr followers! If you guys didn't already know, my is SparklyDanosaur, where you can read my other phanfictions, and a few PJO fics. My Twitter is epicjellypanda as always, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, as it starts to bring out the title of the fic more.

Okay, go ahead and start reading unless you are about to click away, in which I would be very sad. Whee!

"Tooooo theeeee ennnnnnd" I sang softly, unlocking the door. I walked in and sat the groceries down on the counter. "Hey, Phil," I said, not noticing the sleeping Phil in his room. I bit my lip as Phil nuzzled his pillow in his sleep. He is _too cute_. I pulled the covers over his body and left, closing the door behind me. I went over to the TV and started playing Sonic.

I played for about an hour, switching the game a few times, trying not to yell and wake Phil up. When I was focused intensely on the game, I felt a hand touch my arm, so I screamed and jumped. Phil stood behind me giggling. "Well, you scare easily today," he noted, not able to stop smiling. Seriously, how could I not hear him?! "You're just a sneaky little sloth!" I laughed, lightly throwing the controller at him. He dodged and laughed a bit more. "No, I'm _the_ sneaky little sloth!" Annnnd there's that tongue. That tongue that makes my heart flutter to my throat and my body to tingle. The tongue that I honestly wanted in my mouth if we kissed. **Don't think like that, Dan!** I quickly got up to retrieve the controller from the floor. Phil had already sat on the couch, so I went back and sat next to him. "Is it okay if I hook up the second controller?" Phil asked.  
"Anything's okay, Phil, as long as it's with you," so, that slipped out. This is the exact reason I kept my fucking mouth shut for a month. I noticed Phil's eyes shift, but he brushed it off, holding eye contact with me as he got up to grab the controller for Player 2. He sat back down and I started changing the settings. I could still feel his eyes on me, but we had already started the game, so I wanted to look but couldn't really. I finally glanced at him and then looked back and caught his eyes. My stomach fluttered. **Wait, is he checking me out?** Oh my god. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate and pass out. He's leaning in. Is he going to kiss me? I was too stunned to do anything except keep eye contact. Then it happened. He kissed me. Philip Lester kissed me _on the lips_ for three whole seconds. When he pulled away, the joy bubbling inside me ended, and Phil's face had a look of sheer terror when he realized what had just happened. "No, I..." I tried to say something to him, but he had gotten up, buried his face in his hands, and started running to his room. He started muttering something over and over again, and I heard it once. He kept repeating "I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up,". My brain was still trying to process these feelings, and I couldn't get up and catch him. Then, I had the lamest, cheesiest idea ever.

A/N: Mwahaha cliff hanger! I will try to update soon, but y'know, Tumblr gets the first draft, so it might be a little bit. I'm bursting with ideas though, I just have to find writing time when I'm not up until literally 6:30 AM laughing at truth or dare with a friend. Yeah, that happened. Anyways, I hope you liked it, don't forget to review, like, reblog, and give constructional criticism, on whatever website you're on. Stay awesome Gotham, and may the odds be ever in YOUR favor, GOOOOOODBYEEE! ;)


	4. Stomach Tied In Knots

A/N: Yup. Creativity, man. Enjoy part 4 :) Oh, and it's staying in Dan's POV for this chapter, I wrote it in my head this way and the other chapter and blah. So sorry for my lameness. This chapter is so cheesy and fluffy like sw it's like an awkward movie scene that's supposed to be sweet but it's overdone. *gags*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pulled up YouTube on my laptop. I typed in a song that could maybe explain. I proceeded to turn up the volume and place the laptop outside of Phil's bedroom door. I heard soft crying, but I knew this would work. It _had_ to work.

***Oh my stomach's tied in knots, I'm afraid of what I'll find if you wanna talk tonight Ooh oooh***

Nothing. I waited a few seconds. I tapped the door.

***And I'll push you away, mmm, I get so afraid***

The door handle turned slightly, allowing the door to slowly creak open.  
"Phil,"

***I can't live without you now, oh, oh, I can't even live with myself oh oh oh***

"Phil, come here and look at me." He walked over to me and started crying and blubbering, "I'm sorry, Dan, I didn't mean to- I just...and then..."  
"Kiss me again."  
Phil's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"  
"I don't think I stuttered, now did I?"  
Phil kissed me, and I entangled my fingers in his hair. I had to pull away because I started getting lightheaded from the surreal occasion. "Why am I kissing you when I know you don't love me?" Phil asked.  
"What?"  
"As in, you told me you had another crush," he explained, "and now we're... kissing." He was blushing madly at that last part, and so was I.  
"That crush is you. I love you, Phil. I love you." Part of me was still scared. What if he did this as a joke, and is toying with my emotions? The other part, the practical part, knew by the way Phil stared at me that he felt the same way. "I think I love you. I... I love you. I do..." Phil stammered slightly before attacking me with another kiss.

We stood there a bit, Phil's head resting on my neck, and his arms were laced around my waist. I fiddled with his hair and tapped my foot lightly to the strum of the guitar. "You knew pulling up Sleeping With Sirens was going to be _so_ cheesy." He giggled, as the song came to an end. "Yes, but now we're here, so it's worth it."  
"Why didn't you tell me you loved me before? It could have saved a lot of pain for both you and me."  
"I was too scared of my own feelings, and your feelings. I kept chickening out."  
Phil laughed at me. "You're so... Dan,"  
"I'm your Dan. I love you so much, and I just want you to know that, okay? We are inseparable." More tears streaked down Phil's face, but this time, happy tears. He kissed my cheek and squinted. "You think I have gorgeous eyes?" He blushed, recalling what I had said earlier.  
"They melt my soul." I replied.  
"What does this mean for us?" Phil looked at me.  
"I think we've established that we both like each other, so... will you be my boyfriend?" I asked.  
"Of course." Phil kissed me quickly and picked up my laptop. He set it on the couch and sat down. I curled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around me.

A/N: Hi I meant to update on the same day but stuff happened... Ugh so cheesy! this isn't the last chapter by the way, I've got stuff planned ;) Hope you liked the fluffiness of it all!

~K


	5. You Set My Soul Alight

A/N: Hihihi new chapter! I have some stuff in mind for a few chapters in but I wanted this fan fic to be longer or something. I might try to drag it out so if you can, tell me in the reviews or tweet me ( epicjellypanda) or leave something in my ask telling me if you think I should make it longer or keep the idea I had in mind. Fluffy chapter by the way, With some kickthestickz! Thanks, enjoy chapter 5! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Phil's POV

We had cuddled with eachother until Dan fell asleep. I fiddled with his hair a little bit until he woke up. "Good afternoon," I greeted, kissing the top of his head awkwardly. I didn't know if that was okay yet or if it was still kind of touchy. He kissed my shoulder, where he could reach so I took it as a good sign. I checked my phone for the time. "It's about 2:30, so we can do whatever," Dan sat up and turned to me, fiddling with his sleeves. "I dunno, can we... cuddle and watch some TV? I- I know it sounds all-" I couldn't force down a giggle. "What? What are you laughing at?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows. "You're just so cute when you stutter," I kissed his forehead. "Of course we can."

Nothing good was really on TV. We were stuck watching a stupid movie about a woman that went on a date with a serial killer. But we didn't care. We were pointing out errors and laughing at the corny-ness of it all. "That picture wasn't there in the last frame," Dan noted. "Good eye. You see the killer?" I added, and Dan nodded in response to my question.  
"Duh,"  
"His shirt was tucked the last frame as well."  
"Well done, Sherlock, you deserve a sticker," we giggled a bit, before the serial killer took the woman, Amanda, home to brutally kill her.  
"Just watch, I bet the cops are gonna burst in at the last minute and save her ass," Dan predicted, and sure enough, it happened. "Well done, Sherlock, you deserve a sticker," I quoted from just fifteen minutes ago. "Ha ha ha, very funny," Dan said, voice dripping with sarcasm, poking my stomach and side with each syllable. I flinched and curled into a ball. "Daaaaaaaaan, I'm ticklish!" I squealed. Dan just smirked and said "I know.". The end credits had just started rolling, and we were just staring at eachother, dead in the eye. No emotion except love. "Everything about you is so... perfect," I admitted, not just to Dan, but to myself. Dan just kissed me in return, so many words seeming to pour into it. "I love you, Phil," Dan wrapped his arms around me and I turned, pulling Dan towards my lap. I hugged him from behind as I felt my thigh buzz from Dan's phone. He slid it out and checked it. "What is it?" I asked. "It's Chris. I kind of told him and PJ about liking you, and they've been checking on me ever since," Dan explained, scrunching up his nose.  
"Oh. Should... I mean can... well... do you want to tell them or something? Like let them know we've worked everything out and stuff? We don't have to if you don't want to, you know," I stumbled.  
"Uh, yeah, we can if you want. How about they come over in a little bit and we can tell them then?"  
I nodded, and watched as he typed out a message:  
'Yeah, can you come over when you can for tea or something? And bring PJ. Don't worry either.'  
He hit send and soon after got a reply:  
'We'll be over in 5.'  
He squeezed my hand and gave me a smile, which I happily returned.

About five minutes later, of course, there was a knock at the door. Dan and I headed to greet them. He opened the door and I stood nearby.  
"Hey, is everything okay? You said not to worry but I dont-"  
"OH, HEY, PHIL," Chris interrupted PJ a little too loudly. Me and Dan just giggled at Chris elbowing PJ. "Hey, it's fine. We've worked everything out. Come on in," Dan smiled.

I started getting the tea ready and Chris decided to ask how we worked stuff out. Dan laughed awkwardly before stating simply, "He kissed me." PJ leaned over and whispered;  
"I thought you said..." referring to when he asked me if I liked Dan, which now that I think of it was probably to help him out.  
"I know what I said, Peej." I handed everyone a cup of tea.  
Chris took a sip. "You guys are together now, then?" We shared a look and nodded. PJ started staring at the floor smiling. Chris moved to his side. "Well... maybe we can go on a double date soon," PJ suggested. Dan's jaw practically hit the floor. "You two?! I should have known! How long?" I asked them. "Thirteen days, four hours, 12 minutes, and 18 seconds." Chris answered. "Awwwwe! That's so cute!" Dan smiled.

We sat and talked for an hour- something we all haven't done in a while. Chris had checked the time and decided it was time they headed out.  
"It was really nice having you guys over," I smiled. "Thanks for inviting us, we're really happy for you two," Peej replied.  
"Yeah, you guys too."  
We said our goodbyes, and walked them out, and then went back to our apartment. Dan sighed as we sat back down on the couch. "Wow." He stated simply. I pulled him close again, nodding. "Yeah," I cracked a smile. I didn't know why all I wanted was to be close to Dan. I just can't help it. I hope this lasts for a while, I don't ever want this feeling to end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
BAM! I SUCK AT UPDATING STUFF! Yeah yeah, excuses, excuses, I just... bear with me, okay? POSSIBLE hidden chapter on my Tumblr soon. Well, I shouldn't even say soon anymore because POTATOES. POTATOES WILL BE MY EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING! Whoa I need to go to bed. I'm scripting a LPS video... don't judge me its about a girl with a panic disorder. How sparkly. That brings me to my next thing, angst in the next chapter, I'm gonna hit you with dem feeeeeeels. I have so much to talk to you guys about! But I cant here, so why don't you follow my Twitter! Yay shameless self promotion! epicjellypanda, SERIOUSLY YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW, DAMMIT! I really do need to sleep. HA. OK, remember, potatoes gonna potate (hay gurl hay told you I'd put it in), and have a good night/morning/afternoon wherever the ham and turkey (Ew) sammich you are :D

Oh my god it all had to post as a link? wtf?! ugh IDC anymore


End file.
